Aftersomedaystheoldladyreturned from Anandpurtoherown home. The shock borne by her had now put her mind in a state of poise. Fear now seldom came to her. The lower state of the mind sometimes also brings on silence. Since people do not cry for fear of public criticism, true poise lies in realization of the etemally living sight of God. The old lady passed her days in absorption in the Name. A little while after she would go to the temple andrecitetheholy word. Afterpreparingfoodshewould - share it with some devotee or some other person. After some time the ladies from her neighbourhood would come and they would all constitute the holy congregation. Inthe afternoon she would again go to the temple, listen to the ‘Sodar’. Then listen to ‘Rehras’ and before retiring she would recite ‘Sohila’.!
In this way she passed her days in a state of peace. She had not forgotten her departed husband and daughter, but two ideas hovered over her consciousness. One, that death is inevitable, and the other that one should be prepared to meet death exactly as her husband and daughter had done. sometimes, when grief would appear to overpower her, she would get absorbed in the Name and ascend to the heights. Time plays strange pranks, but the seeker finds in time’s ups and downs and sufferings, the means to absorb the consciousness more deeply in God. Time to the seeker’s consciousness is like the potter’s touch to the clay or the anvil to iron. This experience is not comfortable or joyful. As bricks are made firm by fire of the kiln, so this painful experience raises consciousness higher. Such sufferings the devotee considers in the Guru's words to be ‘the medicine of the soul, and pleasure to be it’s malady:-
“The Name alone is my lamp and the oil of suffering! have put therein. The Name’s lamp-light has dried up the oil of _ Suffering and I have escaped meeting Death's courier. The undeceivable (mammon) can not be deceived by deceiving, Nor can a dagger inflict wound (on it).
1. These are names of prayer texts.
As the Lord Keeps it, so does it live. (Under its influence) the mind of this greedy-man is tossed about. | Without oil how can the lamp be lighted? Pause.
In this body (lamp), put the oil of the practice or reciting the religious books and the wick of Lord's fear.
Light this lamp with the fire of the knowledge of the Truth. With this oil thus shall (thy) lamp burn.
Make such light and then shalt thou meet the Lord. Pause When the Word (of His Name) softens this body-soul and service is performed, happiness is obtained.
All the world continues coming and going.
In this world perform Lord's service.
Then, (shalt thou} get a seat in Master’s Court, and swing thy arm (happily), says Nanak.
(Sin Rag ist Guru P.25)
The old lady had also lit the lamp of devotion. It was set alight by her two bereavements. It was destined that soon a third tragedy was to add oil to her lamp. In the words of the Guru, the light of this lamp brings about union with the Lord. As the holy Word affects the mind, comes joy and the inducement to service. To perform service is to find a seat at the Divine Court.
To add suffering undergone by the old lady, one day a passer-by informed her, “Old mother, Anandpur is no more; all the Sikhs have been killed; the glory is gone along with the joy of the holy congregation. Much of Anandpur isnowonlyaheap of ashes. The Guru's family has left and no one knows where the Guru is at present. Now gone Is that grandeur and glory. All are plunged in suffering.”
On hearing this unhappy news the old lady felt gloom spreading over her heart. Despite her faith she could not resist the onrush of pain. she had thought that she would submit to the Divine Will, but on hearing of this tragedy her poise was lost. A darkness spread before her eyes. Herfamily wasnow at the mercy of circumstances. Anandpur that was so peaceful and full of joys would now be overrun by the Mohammedan soldiers.” Her head was whirling in pain. Her mind was now
sharply pained. She wailed, “God has destined for me nothing but suffering.”
The bad news about Anandpur had spread in all directions. Devotees started thronging towards Anandpur on hearing of the Guru's suffering. Every house was full of sorrow, while the old lady’s house was the very centre of suffering. Night came, the mourners departed and the old lady was left alone surrounded by her suffering. Suffering had not engulfed her devotion, but she felt like a boat being tossed over the waves of a stormy river. Only now and then the wave of devotion stirred her heart. She was without food, did not even go to bed. As midnight came, her tearful eyes felt drowsy. There was an alternation of walking and sleeping. She wished that she were with her beloved ones and shared their trial. Then the thought came “My own suffering may be due to my actions. But why is the Guru suffering?” Then the thought came, “Not for any action of his, but to fulfil some divine purpose, is the Guru suffering. There must be a deep purpose behind all these happenings. Thus her thinking alternated with sheer grief.”
The surprising thing was that the old lady, despite her deep devotion, still found her grief uncontrollable. By a mighty effort devotion and resignation began to prevail. She began to think, “There indeed is some great purpose, for the Guru who has the power to avert this disaster could have stopped it. lam sick in soul, for which the remedy is devotion to the holy Name. Devotion began to prevail. She now got up, performed her ablutions, put a bit ofsugar-candy in her mouth, and swallowed a draught of water. Then with her sash wrapped round her
eckin an attitude of prayer she made a supplication: “Lord, to i alone are known ypur mysterious ways. I am an ignorant person, plunged in'sorrow and losing hold of your remembrance. Pray carry me across this ocean. Grant me devotion and the strength to submit to your will. May those beloved ones besafe from harm. Be you their guardian.” Praying thus, with tearful eyes she began contemplating the Name. In sleep she was suddenly shaken awake by pain and the thought came, The world is sick; devotion to the Name is the remedy.’ This thought would restore her poise. In this state dawn came.
Another shaking came to mind as she recalled her whole past life. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. These were her fellow devotees. They had come to perform the morning service at her house. This was to eliminate her sorrow. She opened the door, bowed respectfully to the company of devotees. All thanked the old lady and the moming service began. Thus was passed this third terrible night.
The doctor’s wife uttered words in praise of the holy company which gives such poise. The lady Sabhrai was blessed, she had close relations with the Guru and his family and found solace in the holy Name. She said, “Buf my mind still is not free from shakings of sunenings despite your noble discourse.”
subhag replied, “This kind of tossing is a part of life. We
have to find poise out of it through the Name.’ | The Doctor's wife then asked, “You mentioned the third night as terrible, After the night was passed, was the old lady in peace?”
subhag with a smile said, “Dear sister, immediately after the blow falls, we feel the pain intensely. When our — friends and loved ones gather around us, part of the suffering is relieved. Night is the period of loneliness when the mind feels deep depression. Thatis whyl have concentrated on the nights. In your own case the Baba and his family offered - you support on the first night of your grief. Even now he has left me here to give you support lest you should feel the intensity of pain. Those who frequent holy company need support also. This support helps to conserve the wealth of their devotion. Ordinary people find the alleviation of pain through the passage of time. Those who are devoted to the Name get over their _ suffering much quicker and feel the joy that devotion brings.