La solitude one perceives the deceptions of the mind and they vanish. In solitude the mind is elevated and one gets a sensation of the presence of the Lord inside the body and outside in nature. In solitude the mind concentrates and one finds the path and the door of the Lord's palace. In solitude the body soul immerses in the Supreme soul.
If a man wants to give something to the world, then he should love solitude. He will get something that shall make him a giver.
In loneliness the supports of the mind appear to have become strangers and run away far. That is why one is in sadness, fear and craziness. If you go and leave a person in a secluded island and ask him after six months, "How did you spend your time?" Then he shall be able to tell the extreme fright.
You are sitting in a temple in meditation with eyes closed where the crowd is hustling bustling. When you open your eyes you do not see a single ~person~'^ will feel and its
effect. Just think that you went for hunting in a forest and got lost there. No loving one is with you. No known or unknown person is visible. No stranger is visible. Not even a living creature is visible. You can imagine how your heart shall break down. One who has lost himself once in a forest he only knows the suffering of aloneness or a person in prison in a secluded place only knows its suffering.
If one sees as a matter of fact, then man is alone. He comes alone and alone he goes. But he never perceives this aloneness. If he perceives, then he becomes afraid. However, living in his world, if he has to live alone, he is in agony.
If man thinks properly, then he realizes that although he is living and enjoying in this world but he is alone. But since he is surrounded by people around he does not realize this aloneness. like one hundred eggs are lying close to each other but each egg is closed in its shell. Although, they are lying together but they are separate 'one', 'one' alone. One hundred cages are lying together but the birds in the cage are sitting 'one', 'one'. There are one hundred islands in the sea close to each other but their limit is separate 'one', 'one'. In the same way howsoever much a human is near human but everyone is 'one', 'one', 'alone', 'alone'.
Everyone's body is 'one5, 'one5, everyone's mind is his own.
Son is writhing in pain. Mother is sitting near, doing fomentation and giving parsley powder and is emotional but she cannot reach where the son feels the pain. She gnashes: I wish I had the power to take the pain out. But despite the so dear Mother sitting close by, the son is bearing the pain alone.
There is another aloneness in which men are living in delight. Everyone is an individual and he is struggling with the world. Everyone is looking to his own gain. He considers the other person as stranger and he is not bothered about the gain of the other person. For his own gain, for his own profit he does not feel pain for the other person nor does he care for the other person's loss.
In this way also everyone is alone and his aloneness lives inside. This aloneness is not outside. This aloneness is inside. One's own gain and the endeavour or struggle for the gain and the happiness arising from this endeavour does not let you perceive this aloneness.
There is another aloneness that can be felt even in crowds. If you take a person on a plane and leave him 5000 kilometres away in a crowded city where he does not understand the language of the people living there, in that crowded place he shall feel the aloneness in the crowd. He will feel happy if he meets even one person who knows his language. Then he shall feel the riddance from loneliness.
There is another type of aloneness. When crowds are around, friends and acquaintances are near, some sympathizers are near but one dear one who was a support of your mind has passed away, yes, in this world of aloneness where outside is distance, inside is distance love or sympathy is an element if it is present, becomes a bridge over the distance of aloneness, on the support of this bridge man forgets the aloneness but if this bridge breaks or there is separation of a beloved then aloneness comes even when people are around you it gives pain of aloneness.
One lady hails from Pothohar. Her beloved husband has died in prime youth. This lady herself is young with a muscular body, pretty, accomplished and graceful. Her name is Sughar Bai but her friends out of love call her Sughro. Her parents were wealthy. She is the only daughter. They both passed away and left all their wealth to her. Her husband also had lot of money. Since no child was born to her, she inherited all the money and property that her husband left.
The wealth that has come from both sides is kissing her feet but she is alone, neither husband nor father-in-law, nor mother-in-law, nor dad, nor mom.
This lady is sitting in this world alone. She has servants and maids, near and far relatives, plenty of flatterers and servile but in her mind and heart she
feels she is alone. Her aloneness is the separation from those who loved her and in her heart she has lost the support of the mind that was her husband, so she feels alone.
It is midnight, hot season, a bed is laid on the roof-top. This lady is lying down. She is lying down but is awake and is talking to the stars: O stars of the limitless sky! I see you all are 'one', 'one5, alone. Like me, none is connected to the other. I do not know how much distant you are from one another but yet you are twinkling and shining. Why am I sad? I have got jewels like you. Why my joy has gone? I have got servants and maids. Flatterers are many. Then why I feel alone? With so many people around why this loneliness is bothering me?
Then she talked to her mind; O Sughro! Father had taught you that this world is perishable. You had read it. One comes alone and goes alone. In between if one becomes alone by the Lord's will, then let it be. But these thoughts were educative but now in practice these thoughts are no help. The pain is in the heart and it does not go. O Father! O Father! Come and see! In how much agony is your pampered daughter? Death, cruel death, the knife for separation, Mother separated, Father separated, my husband also fell prey but Oh ho! Death is benevolent also. When you died I was sad, why have you gone but today I see that death was benevolent to you. If death had not taken you in her lap, then you would have been in agony to see my agony. If she had taken me also in her lap at that time, then I would not have seen this agony of mine. Death is benevolent but her benevolence depends upon her will. She shall not take you in her lap on asking. On her own will, she showers benevolence. I prayed a lot to her to take me in her lap along with my husband but in resoluteness she did not listen to a word. This one night of agony does not pass. How shall the morning be? How shall the day pass? How shall life pass? I cannot go to sleep. When shall I sleep forever? Then she thought of her husband. O dear! Won't you come again?
Ill
[Endeavour to rid the aloneness] Sometimes like a crazy person she was perplexed and emotionally perturbed. However, she was an educated lady and had some natural strength of mind. Whenever she felt crazy she tried to find some way out to rid this aloneness.
Forty days passed in wailing and sorrow. One night while looking at the stars, it came to her mind: My husband is gone and cannot come back now. Nobody has ever come back. Can I not turn the situation for something better?
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Her intellectual mind said: I can pass time in a better way by remembrance of the good days when my husband was living. The mind was happy when he was living. It is the mind that is feeling the separation when I remember the good old days then I grumble in separation. Why not live in remembrance of the good days? Those moments, those hours, those days that went by in happiness when he was living, can't I live in remembrance of those good days?
She found a way out of aloneness. She said to herself: O aloneness that you have entered my mind, you get out and I shall fill my mind with remembrance of good days that I spent with my husband.
In this endeavour she spent some time in good mood and sometime got emotionally perturbed. To get rid of this emotional perturb, she thought of another idea. She got a statue of her husband sculptured and placed it on the bed. She started worship of the statue like idol worship. Whenever she felt perturbed she would stand in front of the statue and say: You are here. I am in remembrance of your love always. Then she closed her eyes, sat down and remembered the good old days. In this way she rid herself from the fear and nervousness of aloneness.
IV .
[Idol Worship, Husband to Sri Ram] Time also heals the wounds of separation of a beloved. Sages say that it takes at least one year to heal such wounds. But more depends on the intensity of love that creates the wound.
Sughro's intellectual mind had already found one remedy from within but it did not give that deep satisfaction that one gets in holy company in remembrance of the Lord. For this reason she had to take support of an idol. With this support she felt somewhat relieved from the emotional perturb. The management of property and wealth also took quite some time. These also helped her in getting out of the emotional stress. But she devised another way also. She got constructed a few huts where sadhus could stay. She made a garden around and made arrangements for food and other amenities for the sadhus.
When a lady has lot of wealth and becomes a widow, then the relatives and known people in greed desire that somehow we may get that money.
Nearly a year passed like this and her mind remained engrossed in managing her property. Now, she regained some happiness and sometimes she was in delightful mood. Then some near relatives thought that although it is not customary to marry a widow and also it is considered humiliating by the
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high caste Khatris but why bother about custom if one can acquire a lot of wealth by marrying the lady. So offers of marriage started coming from many sources but these did not influence Sughro. Sughro possessed a strong intellectual mind and could perceive the underlying greed in the proposals. She had a sharp intellect to judge everything in its right perspective.
Having read lot of scriptures she had developed some intuitiveness also.
So was able to judge that these people are after money only and by marrying they wish to become co-owners. Being a Hindu and bom in a Hindu Khatri family, to remarry was against her principles, what the people shall say was also in mind. But more so her love for her husband kept her mind in an inward pull. As such she turned down any proposal for marriage and won over. Every time winning over made her mind strong but along with it her detachment from world increased.
In respect of her wealth she did not trust anyone except one old servant and she became more vigilant in keeping her money safe.
From this worldly detachment her mind bent towards holy company where she saw that the soul shall flourish and the money shall be utilized fruitfully.
The servants looked after the huts that she got constructed but now she started checking herself. Here she got an opportunity to meet intellectual sadhus and other pious people and she gained more knowledge about the Lord that was her thirst. She got blessing from sadhus when she served them food with her own hands or some praised her for her benevolence and that gave support to her mind.
Time passed on. One day one recluse sadhu came to stay. He was quite knowledge-able and intellectual. When he came to know the lady, then he stayed here for a long period and gave discourses. When the sadhu came to know that this lady worships the idol of her husband, then he said: O pious lady! The Idol worship that you do in front of your husband's idol is not good. It is not good to remember a person who is dead. Generally, the custom is that one does not remember a deceased person. When we cremate the body, then we detach ourselves from him. He went from where he came. All persons who die are not saints. To worship a person who is not a saint is not desirable. But it is good in a way that you have got into the habit of Idol worship. Now if you keep the Idol of Ram in lieu of the idol of your husband, then you shall get salvation when your husband' s-idol worship becomes Ramidol worship. Then you shall be out of the cycle of births and deaths.
In his way this sadhu persuaded Sughro and she replaced the husband's idol with Ram idol.
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Now she got automatically detached from her husband-idol and got devoted to Ram-idol and whatever rituals the sadhu suggested she did but her mind still vacillated. Finally, one day from the conversation with the sadhu she perceived that he has plans to show himself as Ram and suggest his own worship. Then she made enquiries secretly and came to know that this sadhu has not developed his own good character. He is after her beauty and money only. After making sure, she asked the sadhu to depart.
Her mind was again in turbulence that as in the world nobody is your friend, similarly, these sadhus have renounced their homes but they are still in greed for money.
[Idol-worship from Ram to Sri Krishna] This jerk did not make Sughro dejected. Her mind said: One has to die one day. This wealth shall not go along. Do something positive that one gets out of the cycle of births and deaths. Neither one should remain in the cycle of births and deaths nor should have sentimental attachment with husband, father, wealth etc. nor should remain in agony on account of separation.
I must find some sadhu who is enlightened, who is detached from worldly desires and has met the Lord. .
So she did not stop meeting the sadhus.. Whenever she heard that a sadhu has come, she took her friends and went to meet. She gave offering and if she liked him then she invited him to stay in the hut for some time.
Every sadhu told her that without a Guru you cannot get salvation. So she tried to search for a Guru that should be to her mind's satisfaction.
Now the news spread far and wide that this lady is in search of a Guru.
Those who are without desires, they do not go to anyone until the Lord wishes so. But for those who are in desires, then the desires do not let them sit in peace.
A Vaishnav sadhu from Vindraban heard about Sughro and came to Pothohar. He brought along his group and other paraphernalia for drama depicting the life of Sri Krishna. They were good in the art of singing and dancing. They stayed at a town where the habitants were mostly Hindus and the town was big. Sughro's village was near this town. Praise of their performance and their art and devotion reached Sughro's ears. This praise did not come by itself. Somebody was put on the job to sing their praises to Sughro. Sughro, since she already had experience, she watchfully made enquiries. When she was satisfied that they are not fake sadhus, then she called them to her village.
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Here the sadhus performed the entire drama depicting the life of Sri Krishna. The name of the Chief sadhu was Krishan Kumar. He danced so well and his singing was superb that made Sughro go in trance sometimes. The singing of religious songs made a dent on her mind. It gave more concentration of mind that she was looking for. Her devotion to Krishan Kumar went on increasing.
Sughro had one servant named Chokha. Her father-in-law had brought him up from childhood and he was fifty now. He had true love for this house. After the demise of men in the family he proved to be a true and faithful servant to Sughro. He was always watchful of Sughro's meeting the sadhus in pursuit of her inclination towards religiousness. Many times, his enquiries served as a light house to Sughro.. He came to believe that this sadhu has no greed but still he remained watchful.
One day Sughro asked the sadhu to initiate her as his devotee.
The sadhu said: First you remove this idol of Ram from your house. In future you agree nbt to meet Ram devotees. Then I can initiate you as my devotee.
When the lady asked the reason for that, then he said that spiritual guide should be one and not two. If you have a choice of two, then you select whoever you feel is more prominent. Rani was not perfect whereas Sri Krishna was a perfect prophet. You select Sri Krishna.
Sughro agreed to the advice of the sadhu and stop ed worship of the idol of Ram.
One day Chokha came and said: O my mistress! Here also is greed. One lady who comes from a particular village has given her ornaments of high value to this sadhu secretly. Other family members have come to know. There is quarrel in the house. They shall come to you shortly, asking for your help to settle the dispute. Shortly after they came and met Sughro requesting her to resolve the issue.
Then Sughro told Krishan Kumar:- You are detached from the world. You are immersed in love of Sri .Krishna. Why do you need her money when the family people are not happy to give? Why don't you throw the money back in their lap?
But Krishan Kumar did not agree. He put her off by telling her that it shall become a curse for the women if I return.
Sughro did not ask for initiation. She sighed in relief. Maybe this aloneness is a blessing that the Lord has given me. O mind! The meditative are searching for solitude. You have got it and you want to shirk. She heaved lot of sighs and became dis-interested in the sadhu.
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But with each experience her mind became more watchful. However, by meeting many sadhus and remaining in worship she got concentration of mind.
The next who won her confidence was also a devotee of Sri Krishna. But he was not a worshipper. He recited the Geeta and gave discourses elucidating the writing of Geeta. He was a Pandit and he left his home in poverty as a recluse sadhu. He got enough money for his discourses. One day, on hearing about the benevolence of Sughro he also came.
Sughro listened to his discourses. Her mind became eager to gain more knowledge. This sadhu heard about her previous practice and then said: There is no salvation without intuitiveness. The knowledge that Sri Krishna has given in Geeta is the best. She liked this advice of the Pandit. Then she gave him some money. Since he got money, he stayed on for more time.
When the Pandit preached that one should live in love ofSri Krishna and should not have worldly desires, then Sughro wished to see whether the Pandit himself was without desires.
When the Pandit saw that Sughro was now devoted to him, then reassured he asked for money. Then Sughro became more watchful.
One day when the Pandit demanded money, then Sughro said to him: I wanted to get something from you that I do not have and I thought you have got. You have asked me for something that you do not have and I have got. I have already given you some and I am ready to give you more but you have not given me what I expected from you.
The sadhu said: You practice what I have recited from the Geeta. When you become entitled then I shall give you intuitiveness.
Sughro replied: I give money to every sadhu. I do not ask or see whether he is entitled or deserving. Sometimes if I am not carrying any money then I give some wheat-flour but I never ask whether he deserves it. Can you not give me even a drop of the intuitiveness that you have got?
When she put this question, then the sadhu talked non-sensibly. Sughro thought that he has spent time. He has to run his kitchen. If nobody gives him money how shall he run his kitchen? So, she gave money to the Pandit and bade him farewell respectfully. She heaved a sigh and said: O Lord! How is it that you have given me so much wealth for which family men, sadhus and others solicit me, some in straightforward-ness and some in hypocrisy? Does this wealth really give some inner happiness? Why have you
not given me such wealth that I would not solicit them and they should not solicit me? O Lord! I am sure there shall be someone soliciting you only and he shall not desire me or my wealth.
VII
[For the sake of God] Time passed on. Some sadhus came and stayed in the huts and went away. Many came with the idea of making her a devotee of theirs but went away in despair. It is written: Whosoever came said: It shall be a privilege to me if she becomes my devotee. My prestige shall become high.
Many sadhus came but Sughro did not become a follower of anyone.
One day somebody came and said: One man of God has come to stay in the nearby village. He is intuitive and has Supernatural powers.
On hearing this praise, Sughro accompanied by her friends and Chokha went to meet him. His disciples were sitting in front of a tent. Chokha went and told them the purpose of their visit.
First they got angry and said: Our master is a Man of God. He does not like to meet people. But when they realized that these people are very keen then they said: We have a small boy. Our master listens to him. We shall call him. He shall take you to our master.
They called the boy. Chokha gave him one gold coin. The boy asked everybody to follow him. A little further another tent was pitched that had eight to ten doors. When the boy entered one door, then the master shouted: I just pampered you a little but you have become so daring. You bring in anybody at any time. Do you think God is a toy that I shall make it and give it to anyone? If one requires a son, then I might bless. From where shall I bring God? One meets God after death. The dead meet God. You go away. Get out.
Sughro and her companions heard all this conversation and wondered how the master has guessed that we are Lord-seekers? Meanwhile everyone entered and bowed. First he picked up a wand to hit. Then he trembled and said: Ah ha! This lady has a line of fortune on her forehead. This is the line of God. Yes! She will meet God. Surely she will meet God.
Sughro offered five gold coins. The master threw the coins out and said: You cannot meet God by spending money. You have to give your head to meet God. If you wish to meet God, then wash your hands off this world. Throw away all your money. Give it away in the name of the Lord to saints. Read the story of Ibrahim. He renounced his kingdom. Then he met God.
Give away your wealth and come in a patched blanket. Then I shall make you meet God. You wish wealth should remain, luxuries should remain. Can you meet God while lying down on silken mattresses? Fortune is swaying on your head. The wealth is a curtain between you and God. I am merciful to you. You remove the curtain of wealth. God shall then present Himself before you. Give your wealth to saints. Now you may go. Saying this, the saint kept the wand doWn and sat down in a squatting posture with eyes closed. Sughro bowed down and came away.
She has become half-crazy. She thinks that the saint is intuitive, without greed, his words are strong and true. Wealth and God are two swords. How can they be put in one sheath? Then should I give away all wealth. What shall I do with it if it is a curtain? In this thinking she reached home. Chokha was also impressed much today. But his mind is sad. He is drawing a picture in his mind, "What shall happen if my mistress gives away all her wealth and starts living as a penniless woman begging for food?" This picture of his mistress looked dreadful to him. On the other side he noticed that his mistress was ready to give her wealth away.
After some thought he talked to his mistress: O my mistress! You are sad. I feel you have got faith in the priest whom you met a few days back. I am not against your getting inner haopiness but if you give away all your wealth and this priest comes out a hypocrite, then you will become penniless and the world shall make fun. If you permit, then I shall stay near for ten days and find out whether the saint's intuitiveness is real or not.
Sughro was a mature lady. She already had lot of bad experiences. She said: You may go. But be cautious. He might be a true saint and you might get a curse while in the testing process. They say these Muslim priests are like snakes. That day he was nice and he blessed us.
Chokha said: You need not worry. Even I was impressed. I shall be cautious. On the tenth day Chokha returned but with a sad face and said: O mistress! Lord has saved us. There is not even a little sign of any devotion, meditation or religiousness. The previous sadhus who came were greedy and that annoyed us. But here is height of swindling. Nobody can meet the Muslim priest directly. Everybody first meets his disciples. They do not talk to you till you give them money. After receiving the money, then they send you inside. Unsuspectingly, they first find out from the visitor the wish for which he has come. Further, where the Muslim saint sits, there are many doors. Every door is marked for a wish. Like wish for a son, wish for wealth, winning of court case, riddance from illness, Lord-seeker, etc. Then from whichever gate the
visitor entered, the Muslim priest starts shouting for the same wish. He will say "Oh, have I got sons here that you have come for sons?" In this way the visitor is impressed of his intuitiveness. Then he gets angry with the boy and then blesses the visitor. The boy takes more money from the visitor. The Muslim priest shows that he is not interested in money. They stay at one place for some time and then go to another distant place. Here they have come only to extract money from you. I have got all this information by staying near and spending money. I have checked all this with great difficulty. For God's sake, please save yourself and check.
Sughro was perplexed. She was shocked. She could not believe that what Chokha has checked is correct. Then in the next ten days she herself went in disguise. But finally she came to believe that what Chokha had found was right
VIII
[Effect of the above mentioned experience] After this experience a unique change occurred in Sughro's mind. She thought: What is the need for me to run after sadhus? I run after sadhus and then feel sad. If it is written on my forehead, then the Lord of the clouds and rain shall Himself shower His bless. What for should I go and beg from these sadhus? I should be strong and not let any fake person come near me. I am humble to them. I should be strict to them. Why not leave this religiousness? Forget about it.
Again the mind said: No. God is definitely there. The path to meet God is there. I must find the path. I must not lose hope or feel disheartened.
One day, she realized in her mind that Khemi, a newly appointed maid amongst all maids sings the praises of one saint quite often. Maybe she is a messenger of some saint and is trying to influence me. So, according to her new thinking that she had adopted, she called Khemi and said to her: You know it is very difficult to find a true saint in this world. That is why there is un-enlightenment all round. The Muslims are converting Hindus to Islam. According to the scripture only a great saint can give salvation to the world.
Khemi said: What you say is true. But there is no dearth of good saints.
Sughro said: That is why I welcome them. But now I have a test for them in my mind. Whoever comes and says, "I am your Guru. I have come to bless you", then only, I shall be satisfied that he is really intuitive. But please do not tell this secret to anyone.
A few days after this conversation when Sughro was sitting in the outer room and her friends were sitting with her, then one tall and handsome sadhu suddenly came.
He carried a wand in his hand, a turban on the head with full beard. The moment he came in with his glamorous eyes, he said: Sughro! Get up and greet me. I am your Guru. I have come to give you salvation. Today God has sent a message to me, "Go and give salvation to my daughter.5'
Sughro smiled and looked at him for a moment. Then she made him sit on the chair with respect and herself she sat on the sheet spread on the ground. She served him some fruits and eatables and asked him to stay in the hut and she herself came inside. At night she kept awake and kept a watch on Khemi. It was midnight. Then Khemi got up from her bed and slipped out. Sughro followed her. She had already alerted the watchman. Accompanied by the watchman, she followed Khemi but kept a distance. Khemi walked into the garden and entered the hut where the sadhu was staying. Sughro went and sat in the next hut. The hut had some invisible holes in the wall and she could listen to the conversation coming from the Sadhu's hut. So, she listened to what both of them talked.
The meaning was that Khemi had disclosed the secret talk of her mistress to the sadhu and he pretended to be intuitive.
Next morning when Sughro accompanied by her friends came out of the house and went to the garden, then the Sadhu again started talking in the same language as instructed by Khemi.
Sughro laughed and said: Yes, you are truly intuitive. But so am I intuitive.
Last night at midnight Khemi came to your hut and talked like this. You tell whether I am intuitive or not.
Listening to this the sadhu' s face turned pale.
Sughro clapped and all her friends shouted in unison: Hail the hypocrite! The sadhu went away and Khemi had slipped away even before he went.
Path Yoga]
In this way of humour she does not fall into a trap. In every such experience when she wins, she enjoys the pleasure of winning and keeps herself in blossom. Once a practitioner of Hath yoga came and stayed. He was expert in all practices of Hath yoga. He suggested: If you learn and practice Hath yoga, then you shall remain healthy and you shall feel light. But the lady told him, "I wish to meet the Lord who is the Creator. If you have anything to
SR! KALGIDHAR CHAMATKAR (VOL-I)
suggest in this context, then tell me."
The Yogi replied: O pious lady! I have told you whatever knowledge I had. What you want is Raj y uga. I am myself in search of a Raj yogi who can teach me Raj yoga. I have faith that after Hath yoga, one should go for Raj yoga that gives ecstasy and salvation. I am trying to search. If I am able to find one, then I shall come and tell you. I appreciate your devotion and holy company. It is praiseworthy.
The lady asked: Do you need any money?
Re said: It is winter and I need a shawl and a few coins for my food for one or two days. I do not carry more than that. I consider it greed even to ask for this much.
Sughro was pleased to hear his simple and true words. She said to her mind: See! The world is not empty of pious people. There are people who speak the truth and are without greed. He has spoken the truth and did not boast of his knowledge. He has asked for his need in straight words and not asked for more. Then the Yogi said: It is Kalyug (Un-enlightened era) and there is no religiousness. If you learn this Hath yoga you shall live long and it helps in controlling the body senses. I have no desire to become a Guru. I am myself a learner.
The lady said: I appreciate the truth that you have spoken but I do not wish to prolong my life or undergo hard practices. With whom I had to enjoy the comfort of life is not living. I am alone. I do not want to prolong my life. It is good if it is not prolonged. But if you can teach me some light breath control I do not mind to learn.
On listening to this he taught her to move the breath in rhythm.
After he went away, another sadhu came and stayed. He was also a Hath yogi. Sughro did not wish to learn Hath yoga. The sadhu left.
[Vedant]
One day a sadhu came. His name was Vishwanand. He said: Sughro! Hail Shiva! Sughro reciprocated the greeting and with respect asked him to sit down.
He said: Listen daughter! These are not the times for Hath yoga. It is time for knowledge. God is 'All pervading6. God and I are not two. It is all Him. Shiva! Shiva! I spent the hot season at Daultala. There is a beautiful lake there with trees all round. There I heard your praise and your search to meet the Lord. I also heard that you are adamant for your wish. See! Daughter! The
416 SRi KALGIDHAR CHAMATKAR (VOL-I)
world is in search of a true sadhu. But a true sadhu is in search of a true seeker. He wishes that the knowledge that he has gained be given further so that others may benefit. That is how I have come. You understand the prime doctrine of Vedant Then your mind shall be at peace as gold settles down when it becomes pure. You know Sanskrit. You read the doctrine of Vedant. Then you will get pleasure of mind. Now you can give me some fruits to eat. Then I shall go. I have not come here for money's sake. I just wanted to tell you whatever knowledge has given me pleasure of mind. You may also gain the knowledge and live in pleasure of mind. My name is Vishwanand but I call myself Merry Nand. Shiva! Shiva! Saying this, he clapped and laughed. Shiva! Shiva! Then he became quiet.
The lady now called two persons. One was the Pandit whom she had employed. He used to recite verses from Yoga Vashisht and she listened. Another was a Muslim priest who used to recite Maulana Room's writings and she listened.
Vishwanand was pleased to meet the Pandit. He said to the Pandit: O Pandit! After Yoga Vashist you recite Vedanta doctrine. Then she will have knowledge that all is Shiva and she is Shiva.
Pandit said, "These scriptures are not available here. I shall send someone to Kanshi and get these scriptures. Then I shall recite to her." After some conversation Vishwanand went away.
Sughro was thirsty to fill the vacuum in her mind. She already had enough knowledge from the books and for more she listened to the recitation from the Pandit. She did not ask him to stay for more time. However in her own mind she thought: See! Although this Sadhu was not intuitive but he said what he had read and he had no greed in him. There are people in the world who have no greed. Then he has come on his own. He has not stayed. O mind! These are signs of some fortunate happening. Somebody shall come like this. If the Lord wishes he shall call me.
[Shakti Worship]
Discourses, recitations, congregations, service to sadhus who came, went on. After sometime one sadhu came. He said: C Sughro! You are learning Vedant. Vedant will teach you that you are yourself God and really speaking you are not. The Lord is Supreme, limitless, un-describable, saviour and creator of the creation. You have not immersed yourself in Him. You have got your own strength. It is this strength that runs the world. Many people consider this
strength as everything. Many say that Shiva is Shakti and Shakti is Shiva but I believe that Shakti is of the Shiva. So Shakti is there wherever you are. So you better worship the goddess of Shakti. In this way you shall become a goddess of Shakti. Then you will mc ^t Shiva. Shakti will take you to Shiva. Sughro asked: What is the practice?
He said: You get an idol of Shakti. Construct a temple for the idol of Shakti. Then I shall tell all the practice and performance of worship.
Sughro listened to his lectures for a few days but she did not feel inclined towards Shakti idol worship. Although the sadhu related his own theories but Sughro had already experienced idol-worship.
She told him that if the strength of the Lord and strength of Shakti are two separate powers, then there shall be two powers which is not logical. I wish to meet the Supreme Lord who is cAll powerful6. That is why I am more inclined to worship the Lord. In this way she asked him to go. She was not sure whether he was a preacher of this doctrine or had just come in greed for money. Since she had no knowledge of this type of worship, she had doubts in her mind whether the doctrine was true.
XII
[Out of Religiousness] Now, Sughro became clever. She came to know of different doctrines. She gained knowledge of the Hindu scripture. But none of these impressed her. She became sagacious. Her intellectual power increased. Her character became strong. But a thirst remained in her mind. She wanted something that should not be just gaining knowledge in the mind. It should be something that should transform the mind.
In this time one sadhu came. He listened to the experiences of the lady and her thirst. He laughed and said: Why are you wasting your beautiful body and precious life in unnecessary superstitions? Why are you wasting your money on these sadhus? live in merriment. Enjoy in merriment and spend your time in merriment. Do not waste your time on something that is beyond the five senses of the bod)/. Live in what is visible. Spend your life in what is visible. There is nothing beyond the five senses of the body. Eat, drink ' and be merry.
Initially, Sughro agreed with what he said. Later she realized that what he said was not from any knowledgeable source or for the betterment of society. He is greedy for money but he wants to hide his greed. He is just like others. He has greed, envy, jealousy as in other people.
Now she came to realize that in the name of religion or otherwise people are laying all sorts of traps to befool and make money. Neither the religion is at fault nor the true preachers or Scriptures faulty. The world is such or the desires of man are such that through religion or outside of religion, wherever man gets a chance, he is out for his selfish gains. When we see the rulers using force and tyranny then we blame the rulers but the fault is of the selfish people. In the name of religion when the selfish people do something for their selfish gain, then the fault is of the selfish people but we say: Get out of religiousness. In society the selfish people are the prominent people. In educational institutions the selfish people are ahead. This train of selfish people does not let you sit in comfort. There should be some path, some way, that selfishness declines in the world and the selfish become satiated and merciful.
In these thoughts her mind said: Now put on the robe of selfishness and search for a true saint in this way. like, when I took the religious path, then I came across selfish people only. Now if I tread on the selfish path, maybe I come across somebody who is truly religious, without desires, without selfishness. For quite some time these thoughts swayed in her mind. Finally, she made up her mind but did not tell anyone. She became quiet. She did not talk to anyone for some days. Either she remained lying down or sat in a squatting position with eyes closed. Almost forty days passed like this. The servants and maids became nervous. What has happened to our mistress?
XIII [Self is All:
When sometime passed in these thoughts and in this solitude, then one day she gave some order to Chokha and talked to some maids. She did not tell them what was in her mind but gave some orders for some readiness.
One fine morning, a throne was laid in the garden. Sughro dressed up in a gold embroidered dress came and sat on the throne. One maid swayed the whisk above her head. The rest thronged and sat around her. In front sat the sadhus and needy who ate food here every day and were given clothes to wear. For a few moments it was quiet. Then Sughro said in a loud tone. Listen, everybody with ears open! I am not Sughro.
/ am Sughar Bai
In water and on earth, I am!
Up and down, I am!
Nourishes I am!
Saviour I am!
Here and there, I am!
Salvation is in chanting my name!
Everybody chanted: Sughar Bai! Sughar Bai!
Again she said: In water Sughar Bai!
On earth Sughar Bai!
Yesterday Sughar Bai!
Today Sughar Bai!
Tomorrow Sughar Bai!
Only one Sughar Bai!
None shall give refuge without Sughar Bai!
As Sughar Bai sang, in the same tune everybody repeated.
Then she said: Sughar Bai is a holy name. This shall be the saviour.
Say, Hail Sughar Bai! Listen! Only those who chant my name shall get food from my kitchen. Only those who chant my name shall get dresses from my house. One who chants my name will get salvation. Heavens are my thrones. Earth, sky and stars all belong to me. I am all in all. Those who do not have faith in me can go. My relatives and friends, servants and maids, sadhus, priests, needy and poor, chant my name with the beat of drums. Whoever is in suffering, I shall give comfort to him. Those who do not have faith in my name can go.
Then her friends sang her praises in a melodious tune. They put saffron dot on her forehead. They put garlands of flowers round her neck. Sweets were distributed. Then she came to the courtyard amidst shouts of Hail Sughar Bai and sat on a Sandalwood chair. Everybody sat in rows around her. Sughar Bai was served food in a silver platter. She started eating. Then food was served to others.
When this drama finished then she sat in a palanquin and four labourers carried the palanquin and she went to her house, locked the door from inside and rested.
Soon this became a talk of the town.. News spread in the village, in the near village and distance villages like a blaze and at every corner people criticized and condemned. The inflow of sadhus, saints and the greedy stopped. Everybody said: She has gone mad. Some said: Her wealth has made her pride touch the sky. Wealth and pride go together. It became a gossip in the village.
Sughar Bai made Chokha responsible for all household management. Herself she would come out sometimes only. She felt happy to listen to the chanting of her name by the sadhus and others who enjoyed free food here. Sometime passed like this.
In this world there is dearth of people with a pure mind and without desires who would love to give comfort to others.
Here, if a wealthy person starts a new practice, then many stupid and selfish people come to flatter.
Same happened here. Some Lord-seekers started coming. Some came for religious guidance, some for fulfilment of desires and some in self-interest. The selfish thought that they shall become her agents and earn money from the simple-minded Lord-seekers who come to her. The selfish are more interested in their gain rather than the gain of the Lord-seekers. Those who do not love the 'Lord, there precept and desire is 'your need and my gain' otherwise in this selfish world, the basis in social dealings is 'your need and my opportunity of gain'.
By enacting this drama, Sughar Bai, who was in reality searching for a true saint, got rid of the selfish sadhus from whom she had got fed up. However she did not tell anyone her purpose. Now it happened that the Lord-seekers started coming to her for religious guidance.
Initially, she was in a fix. Later, she got a chance to analyze the minds of the Lordseekers and got new experiences. She sat on her seat in pious fraud and satisfied the seekers who came to her.
Many people got faith in her. Not only ordinary people but even learned scholars, prominent and rich people became her devotees. Many emerged who went to big homes to spread her praise. They got money from those whom they prompted to become devotees of Sughar Bai. There was no shortage of money in Sughar Bai's house but now money started flowing in from this side also. She gave away lot of money to the needy and poor.
Within two or three years her following became large and everybody touched her feet and worshipped her.
Sughar Bai's heart-pain, only she knew. She did not share her secret to anyone. But in the eyes of the people she became a godly saint. People chanted her name and the number of her devotees became large.
In all this show Chokha remained faithful to her but he realized that Sughar Bai is not happy in this situation. She has some purpose in mind and this outward show is only a cover. But he could not perceive what the purpose was Sometimes he was diffident, sometimes in thoughts, sometimes he wished for happiness of his mistress, sometimes out of love and respect he counselled her but he remained faithful.
In this new experiment when she preached her own self-made ascetic discipline or she won in spiritual discussions, then outwardly she laughed but deep in her mind she cried: What the sadhus say is that God is one. Rest is all
illusion. In this illusion the kingdom of illusion reins. They are all in the illusion that I am God. I know what I am but they do not know what I am. This is illusion.
Some more time passed like this. One midnight she cried and prayed. Again she felt her aloneness in this world and prayed. Then a marvel happened in her mind. She said: O mind! Falsehood becomes truth. Artificial takes the form of real. When we repeat falsehood again and again then one's self starts feeling it is true. Be watchful. The praise from people, the worship from people and the respect from people has influenced you. When you sit in solitude, then you know what you are and for what purpose you have gone into this false practice. But when you sit where you are revered, the devotees worship you with lighted lamps moved in circular motion and accompanying hymns of praise, when people fall at your feet and extol you, then the mind becomes inflated. It rises and gives exhilaration as well as delight. Then sometimes you feel that you are really the same what these people are uttering. You truly perceive that you are very high. You ravish the same.
The pleasure of getting praise is sweeter than any other pleasure. The mind that is inflated with this pleasure can overstep social norms or do some wrongs.
Today, I realize why the world is engrossed in fame and praise. The kings, the ministers, the rich, the wage-earners, labourers, travellers, the secretaries of associations, students, teachers, preachers, spiritual leaders whether they believe in God or not, the merchants and traders all are engrossed in fame and praise, once you get addicted to this pleasure then one cannot leave it.
Rare are those who can discriminate that this pleasure is illusory. Rare are those who realize that this pleasure of fame inflates the mind with ego
That keeps the self away from the Lord in forgetfulness of the Lord. It is a sort of illusion that scatters the mind.
O Sughro! No! Mistaken-Sughro! To reform one's self is a difficult task. So far my
desperate endeavours did not entrap me. But how should I swim this ocean of fame and flattery? One sage said that wealth is a veil between man and Lord. Today I realize that veneration is also a veil between the mind and the soul (inner self). Oh! But who is happy without veneration? This reverence in a way appears to be food for the soul. This is also a necessity. Oh! What is it? Is it Spiritual or worldly? Actually the ego that we have in our mind wants
that it should not get a beating, it should give pleasure. One gets pleasure when one gets veneration. Or is it that the soul gets trapped in worldly desires and when it gets reverence then it perceives its real self. I cannot understand if it is so. Better leave these knotty questions.
Now come to the point. It is most definite that you are not what people think of you and for which they revere you. It is certain that the reverence you get is in mis-belief and you are getting trapped in this pleasure. This will become a marsh for you. Save yourself from this marsh. This is what the intellectual mind has discriminated and it is true. Be sure that it is true. Now when people show veneration to you, think "How stupid are these" and do not let your mind get inflated with the praise. You know that you are not what you axe showing yourself.
Let time pass in this way. When the Lord is gracious, He will call you and bless.
Now when she sat in front of the Lord -seekers and her disciples, her mind remained in watchfulness, "I must not get trapped in the marsh of praise from these people and start thinking that this is the best world and the best pleasure. Who has seen the unseen Lord? O mind! If my wish to meet the Lord remains unfulfilled, at least my craving should remain, my longing should remain and my thirst should not die. Yes! Yes! O Lord".
Ha! Always you are unseen.
Ha! You are self unseen.
Remain unseen, remain unseen.
In any way remain unseen.
But tell your beloved
Do not remain unseen.
By your remaining unseen
light of the world goes unsheen.
The world rotates un-sheen
Ha! You! Self unseen.
IXV [Invitation]
At Anandpur, Magnificent Guru Gobind Singh is sitting on the throne in the audience hall. Congregation and disciples, devotees and Lord-seekers come, fall at his feet and get his blessings. They feel ecstasy. One congregation came from Pothohar. The prayer-man offered prayers for them. The true Guru met each one with love, heard their prayers and blessed them. He solved their
problems. He resolved their hindrances in religious pursuit.
When this was over, then the true Guru asked about their town. The rulers being Muslims, he wanted to know how the people managed with the Muslim rulers.
When the congregation related all that, then the true Guru said: Tell some new story about your town.
Then the Head of the congregation said: Magnificent Guru! A new farce! One widow who was very pious and respectful to saints and even now has high character, something has happened to her brain or something else, she has asked people to chant her name and worship her. It was Harnaksh who asked people to chant his name and now this lady has followed the foot-steps. People are stupid. They have started worshipping her. The needy people who eat food from her kitchen praise her much. She has kept men, women, sadhus whom she gives salaries. They adopt different means to attract people. As such even intellectuals have been entrapped by her. Already she had enough wealth and now more is coming to her. Where there is more, then hypocrisy also comes.
The true Guru smiled and said: I hope no disciple of mine has been trapped.
The Head said: Beloved Guru, none. Those who have gold (Lord's name), you are the saviour for them. Your devotees laugh at her farce. Then the true Guru laughed and said: Do not worry. Saying this, the true Guru closed his eyes. He opened his eyes after sometime and asked for a pen and paper and wrote the following message with his handsome hands:
0 Young lady! 0 Bogus Drama-player Inside longing to meet the Lord Outside Bogus drama of Spiritual preacher Do not fool the world. You are welcome! You shall get your goal Do not wait for a moment Time is running out Present yourself and get the bless The true Guru gave this message to a messenger and instructed him to get the address from the Head of the congregation and deliver it to the lady in her town and bring a reply.
SR! KALGIDHAR CHAMATKAR (VOL-!)
XV [Yes! Present]
Sughar Bai is sitting on the roof-top and singing in a melodious tune: 0 husband why have you gone alone? You neither took me along nor shot me with an arrow.
Then she became quiet. Again she sang the same song. Again she became quiet. Sughar Bai talks to her mind. She remembers the good old days. She remembered the sweet love.
She sang, then cried, then heaved a sigh and said whatever has passed has gone. When the mind is detached from the perishable world and attached to the Lord, then to lament is sin. What should I do? Let me go and live in a forest. I am afraid I might sink in the marsh of praise and reach the sixth lower layer of hell. Why? Why? No! No! Be strong. Carry on as it is. He is the Lord of heavens. He is omnipresent. Surely, there is a path to meet Him. He will meet me. He is radiance. He will give his glimpse.
The night passed. It was day-break. It was her birthday anniversary and everybody was eagerly waiting for her to come out. Her audience hall was full. Her disciples and the needy whoever ate free food from her kitchen were present.
Sughar Bai came in her palanquin and went and sat on her throne. Everybody fell at her feet. Then the disciples moved a platter of lighted lamps in circular motion in front of her. The disciples showered flowers and put garlands of flowers round her neck. Then everybody sang:
Hail Sughar Bai!
All is Sughar Bai!
Else all is die!
All is Sughar Bai!
Then the presents came. She received the presents and bestowed boons. She was delighted. She was enjoying the pleasure of the praise that she got. Her inner mind however said to her: Beware! This pleasure is out-worldly. This is a cool and beautiful river. Don't get drowned in it. But it was pleasing to the heart.
At this time one messenger entered. He was tall, sharp featured, handsome, turbaned, with unshorn hair, full beard and dominating personality. Everybody was dazed to see his fearless domineering personality. The messenger fearlessly walked forward, stepped ahead of everyone and gave the message in a sealed envelope in Sughar Bai's hands and loudly like a thunder, said:
'Ideal men3 belong to the Lord.
Victory is of the Lord,
42b
Everybody's heart trembled in fear when they listened to the loud voice. In fear, everybody looked and said: Who is he?
Nobody knew but one person softly said: He is a messenger of the Guru at Anandpur. See, his ways, his high spirits. It is so pleasing.
Another said: See! How fearless is he? How has he gone near our goddess? Neither he has touched her feet nor bowed down.
People talked in different ways in astonishment.
On the other side when Sughar Bai took the envelope in her hand and touched it, then she felt a sensation. When she opened the letter she felt a sensation in her entire body cells. When she tried to read the letter, then she felt an optical illusion, ring-like visualizations appeared in her eyes and she saw words in curved and zigzag shapes in different picture forms,
Sughar Bai tried to read the letter but she could not see the letters in proper form. The more she tried to concentrate her eyes on the words the more curly they appeared as if floating in air. The wise lady closed her eyes.
Her mind said: Are you afraid? Are you trembling? Do you not realize whose message is that? Without understanding properly, why are you diffident? The messenger is not a Policeman. He is somebody with handsome appearance. The person who has brought this letter has a lustre and shine on his forehead. Relax and read it with respect.
In her closed eyes she touched the letter to her eyes then she felt cool in her heart. She said to her mind: O mind! The letter is from somebody powerful. It has power in it. Be respectful. Pray to the Lord.
In this way she became tranquil and read the letter. The eyes absorbed the letters. The mind absorbed the meanings. A sensation went in the entire heart, mind and body cells. Who has written? It is not signed. But it is a command.
With great difficulty she controlled herself and spoke to the gathering: I wish to be alone. You all have food and then go to your respective homes.
Saying this, she got up and went to her home. One maid whom she gestured went along with her and quietly took the messenger inside.
At home she asked the messenger: Who is the Master of the heavens whose message you have brought?
He replied: It is from Magnificent Guru Gobind Singh who is staying at Anandpur. Sughar Bai had heard the name. She had heard that he is a swords-man who is a saint and keeps a sword. Sword and religiousness, she thought were two opposite cultures and this was sufficient to keep her mind away from this side.
Today, when she saw the influence of the letter, the influence in the touch of the letter, in the meaning of the letter, it was something that nobody could perceive. When she regarded this as a measure of testing, then she realized that the godly soul was sitting in the world in human form and the blind that I am could not understand.
Now her heart said: How has he read the secret that was in my mind? How has he judged that I am playing a 'Bogus drama5 when all the near people know that I had gone mad and enacted this drama and the outside people consider me a real goddess? How has he judged that I possess good character and I am pious although my action is hypocrisy? I have no ill will against the Lord. I do not say there is no God. I have only made a curtain of hypocrisy. I have ndt seen him. I have not met him. Only a letter in two lines has come. But I feel as if he is known to me since several births. My heart now is in longing to meet. I should just get up and go and fall at his feet.
Her body was static but the longing to meet swelled in her mind and made her impatient. Then she ordered her Chief maid Chandro to be hospitable to the messenger, ask the devotees to go to their respective homes and herself she locked her door and became alone. She did not come out for full one day and night. All the maids have become anxious, Chokha is worried. They ask the newly come messenger. What message have you brought?
But he has no knowledge of what is written in the letter. He only had orders to deliver the letter and that he told.
Next morning the door opened. As in winter the low, blue and clear waters of the Ganga flow softly, Sughar Bai with a tranquil and lustrous face came out.
Everyone waiting outside said: Thanks to the Lord! Smiling she came and sat down in the centre. She said: Call Chokha. After a few moments Chokha arrived.
O Chokha brother! You have remained faithful throughout. The Guru at Anaadpur shall bless you. Now you do like this. You write the papers of this property and possession in your name and I shall sign the same. For me, keep two donkey loads, one of gold coins and another of rupees. Rest you give it away to the needy in the name of the Master of Anandpur. These maids have served me well. First you give a lot of money to Chandro then you give to all other maids. Secondly, announce that I was not a goddess to be worshipped. That was my bogus drama. Under this pretext I was searching for a saviour. That I have found now. Whosoever wishes salvation may go to him. O Chokha brother, O Chokha father, O Chokha mother, O Chokha you are eveiything. Now fulfil my last wish.
The words of Sughar Bai created a flash and a thunder. Everyone was stunned. Chokha remained in this shock for some time and then pajd: O my mistress! Many times I took the liberty of stopping you from hurrying and you gave me honour and agreed. Now also you keep my honour. You do what you wish but think it over for some time. You wait for at least fifteen days. Do not take a decision in hurry.
Sughar Bai: Yes! You have love for me. You are faithful. You think good of me. But I have given proper thought and now there is no time to taxiy. Time is running out in moments. But it is precious. Hours and days are too long. There can be no wait even for a moment.
You comply with what I have said otherwise I shall leave everything and move out. Now the maids fell at her feet and prayed. But nothing could influence her.
When everyone in emotion made her emotional, then she sang a song that showed that she was in pangs of love to fall at the feet of the true Guru.
On listening to this emotional song, everybody became quiet. Chandro maid fell at her feet and begged her to stay on.
Then Sughar Bai said: I have been called by the heaven. You do not say anything to me.
Everybody knew Sughar Bed's nature. They said and prayed to her and felt lost.
As per the instructions, Chokha got the papers signed in his name. In his mind he was not greedy. Ke saw farsightedness that whatever she is giving I shall keep it as safe custody Jf by any chance she comes back lost, then I shall return her all and stay as her servant as I am now.
Accordingly, he kept two donkey loads of money for her and the rest he gave away as per the lady's order to the maids, other servants and to the needy.
On one point she agreed that Chokha and two maids shall go along to Anandpur.
XVI [Satiated King]
Sughar Bai had allotted some money to be distributed to those people of the town who were not so rich. In that process when Chokha distributed the money in the town saying that our wealthy lady of the town is emotional, then he went to a tailor and offered him money.
The tailor with hands folded said: Lord may give you long life! But I do not desire wealth. I earn a few rupees everyday and that is sufficient for my
home expenses. I save something from that earning. I do not wish to have more.
Chokha tried to persuade him but he did not accept any.
When Sughar Bai heard about this person, then she was astonished that anyone can be without greed or desire. She herself walked to his house.
The tailor was stitching clothes and his eyes showed that he was immersed in the love of the Lord. When he opened his eyes and saw the bestowal of wealth of the town, then he said: O respected lady! It is so nice of you that you have put your sacred feet in my house. Why did you not send for me? I would have come myself.
Sughar Bai: I have come to have your glimpse. I did not know that a king of satiation lives in my town and I am not aware. You tell me from where have you got this blessing?
He said: O Mother! I am a disciple of Guru Nanak. I am the son of Magnificent Guru Gobind Singh, the King of kings. He has blessed me Kingdom of the mind. My Guru is the Master of the world. Kings stand at his door. Rest is the need of the body. Whatever I need, I get from my work. In fact I get more than that. On listening to the name of Beloved Guru, Sughar Bai bowed down to his feet. Great is the true Guru, Magnificent Guru. O Prince! It is my misfortune that you are residing in my town and this poor woman did not know that a son of my Master lives here only. See! Today, he has called me and I heard about you also and I have got your glimpse.
The tailor said:
It is the Lord's will Nothing can match. Some do not get his bless while awake Some he awakes and blesses.
Mother! You are great whom Magnificent Guru has called to bless. From my side also tell him that I bow my head. Bless! Bless! Bless!.
Sughar Bai, her maids and Chokha were astonished that an 'Ideal Man', a satiated man, immersed in the love of the Lord lives in our town in humility and with mind detached. Nobody has noticed that he is a devotee of the true Guru and is a saint. He works to earn and lives in ecstasy without show off. Yes! He lives in solitude.
Great is the Guru! Great are his disciples!
xvn
[Glimpse]
Magnificent Guru Gobind Singh was sitting near the bank of the river Satiuj when Sughar Bai while traveling towards Anandpur reached that spot. The
moment she glanced she felt ecstasy and in semi-unconsciousness fell at the true Guru's feet.
Sughar Bai's head is clamped to the true Guru's feet. Her mind is immersed in Name and in semi-consciousness. The saviour Guru rubbed her head with his sacred hands. The true Guru's eyes are closed his face is radiant and is showering grace. The true Guru's grace elevated Sughar Bai's mind and she felt the sensation of the presence of the Lord in the body and outside in nature. The touch of the sacred hands rid the dirt of her mind. He showered his bless for quite some time. Then he lifted her head. She raised her head opened her eyes but they did not open. The nectar filled eyes, she tried to open. She opened a little and glanced but felt a sensation of the Lord's name and her eyes closed again. Quite some time passed. Then the Guru patted her back and said: Be alert. The veil has vanished. Now Sughar Bai looked at the Guru with eyes open.
The true Guru smiled and sai d: People meditate and in guilelessness seek the Lord. You sought in guile.
Hesitatingly, she said: Magnificent Guru! In whatever way you meet. Endeavour has to be to meet you.
XVIII [Spiritual - Intellectual] Sughar Bai now settled at Anandpur. Her story became known to every Guru-disciple. Outwardly in guile, inwardly she was longing and craving to meet the Lord. Her pangs of the Lord's love influenced the true Guru and he himself called her and blessed her. Her story went round all over Anandpur.
One day Bhai Nand Lal went to her house to meet her. She had also heard his name and praise. She welcomed him with respect. He asked about her welfare and the past.
After this conversation he said: How do you feel now?
She laughed and said: Now I have the same feeling as the river has when it meets the sea. I am cool, exuberant and in ecstasy. I am thankful for his graciousness. I say thanks that he has blessed his love. But I am impatient to immerse my soul in the Supreme soul. I had read in the scripture that the Lord is omnipresent, here, there, everywhere, inside the body and outside in nature. I wished that this feeling should go deep in my heart. It should become incessant. This wish of mine has been fulfilled. The touch of Magnificent Guru's letter induced waves of sensation of the presence of the Lord that I never felt earlier. His glimpse put me in trance. When I touched his feet, then
SRI KALGSDHAR CHAMATKAR (VOL - !)
a wavy sensation of the presence of the Lord went through my entire body into my mind, heart and body cells and he blessed his love. He is fountain of love. I am in ecstasy. I became unconscious but it was Super consciousness, like one having normal eyes becomes blind on gazing towards the immense dazzle of the sun. On the first day when I touched his feet, beloved Guru himself separated me from his feet like a mother separates the child from her nipples so that the child may not over-drink and feel uncomfortable. When I got separated from his feet and my longing eyes looked at him, then in divine sensation I felt that I am nothing. It is all 'He\ The veil of 'I and me' i.e. ego that is between us and the Lord vanished, I became free. I could see that I have a body and a soul also. I am soul. O Brother! I do not know what it is. But this is what happened to me.
Bhai Nand Lal asked: How do you feel now?
The Lady replied: I feel light like a flower. I do not feel any weight of mine. I feel cool and in ecstasy. My mind is elevated. I feel everybody as the Lord's children but I do not have ego. I feel detached also but it is detachment in the mind only. It is not that I should renounce the world or separate myself from the world. like when a lost person is found, then he is separate for himself but in his own house. Then I feel something like recitation is going on in my mind, like O Lord! O Lord! Waheguru, Waheguru is going on automatically and drops of nectar are simmering out of it and giving rapture.
Bhai Nand Lal's eyes closed, then opened and he said: When somebody asked the fifth Guru that the Lord who is the saviour and powerful and has given his love spark and created the soul and body, then He is above the five senses of the body and is indescribable, how can we see him and describe him?
Then he said that you can perceive the soul through the Guru who is the image of the Lord. Recite His name with love. He will not only give you the feeling of the soul but make you sit in his lap.
Sughar Bai: You have said truly. The Guru is a like a Philosopher's stone. You said, Guru who is the image of the Lord.
Bhai Nand Lal: Yes sister! Guru Nanak Dev, image of the Lord. This tenth incarnation is the same Guru Nanak Dev, image of the Lord.
Sughar Bai (smiled): Well! Now the Lord has revealed the secret. He has named Himself Guru Gobind Singh.
On listening to this, Bhai Nand Lal smiled. He guessed this lady must be a poet also. Then he said: O sister! Do you know how the Guru makes you see the soul and feel the sensation of the Lord? Just listening in the ears, seeing
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with the eyes and listening in the mind is not insight. Insight is to have the sensation of the presence of the Lord in the mind, heart and body all twentyfour, hours. The real knowledge 'Knowledge of the Lord' is to feel the sensation of His presence. The Guru gives that in the form of Name. All sufferings and discomforts whether of the mind or body vanish with Name. Whom the Guru loves, He blesses Name. Then one recites Name that gives you the sensation of the presence of the Lord in your mind all twenty-four hours.
Sughar Bai: I am already in rapture. I have found Him and I have the feeling of His presence in my body cells.
Bhai Nand Lal: It is good. But the nature of the mind is such that it roams in several thoughts. Even if it becomes tranquil on one point for some time but again it goes into roaming. The recitation of Name acts like reins and controls this habit of roaming and turns it back to tranquillity at one point. That is why the endeavour of recitation of Name is required. It is required both for 'getting the sensation of the presence of Lord' and afterwards 'for protecting it'.
Sughar Bai: O Brother, the Lord, His name. Well! Wherefrom do you get that?
Bhai Nand Lal: We sing the praises of the Lord in Holy congregation. That cleanses the mind. The Name settles in the cleansed mind. With recitation of Name, the forgetfulness of the Lord goes and remembrance comes in. The mind is elevated. It becomes sublime mind. The mind that is now attached to the world and worldly desires turns towards the Lord i.e. becomes attached to the Lord. It gets incessant sensation of the presence of the Lord, the inner mind blossoms. One lives in that blossom. Then the feeling of estrangement goes. Then the vision becomes broad and one sees the Lord pervading in the entire universe. The feeling of 'I and you' that is the cause of suffering to self and 'your giving suffering to others' goes. We feel the Lord close to us always. He is not at a distance from us.
Sughar Bai: Then! Is the love that we imbibe for the Lord not necessary?
Bhai Nand Lal: That is very necessary. With love only we can meet the Lord.
I say the truth, listen everybody!
Whoever loves the Lord, meets Him Guru Nanak
And what is love? The fifth Guru has said: O dear! Love is a commodity called 'Name'.
Meaning: Name is the form of love. It is Name that detaches the mind from 'desires and sentiments'. With Name, the mind is transformed into sublime
mind and it blossoms in the incessant remembrance of the Lord and one feels the Lord pervading in the entire universe, the earth and the sky. But even having reached this stage of mind, the fifth Guru has said: Recite the Name by the tongue always and enjoy the true relish and ecstasy. One shall immerse one's soul in the Supreme soul while living in this world.
Sughar Bai: I adore you! You are so intellectual. But the flash of his glimpse has broken the shackles of my mind. It has burnt the vices of the mind and made it crystal. My soul is immersed in the Supreme soul. I saw him as the Lord.
Besides Bhai Nand Lal another pious gentleman who was sitting there spoke: Sister! '
Beloved Guru has stopped us from saying so. He says, "I am the Lord's servant. Whosoever calls me Lord will go to hell."
The lady startled, then smiled and said: I shall not say. Whatever I have perceived I shall keep to myself.
Gentleman: Even that is not right. He says, "Perceive me as the Lord's servant." Yes! He says, "Perceive."
.Sughar Bai: Well! But yesterday one devotee recited: "Lord and Lord's beloveds, both are 'One'. There is no difference." These also are his words. Even if he says he is the servant, he is immersed in Him.
The Gentleman was perplexed. Bhai Nand Lal laughed.
Then Sughar Bai said: Yes! The true Guru is miraculous. If I say something in humour I hope you won't get angry.
Bhai Nand Lal: Whatever you say, you say with love. Why should we get angry?
We shall be pleased. You say.
Sughar Bai: I say it with loving indulgence that the true Guru whom I have found after so much longing and craving and after so much suffering and perceived him as the Lord. If I call him what I have perceived, then is it a dear bargain? Before I had his glimpse, I was living in hell. After having his glimpse I got riddance from hell. I met the Lord. Now if I say something that I am sure about and I get punishment of hell, then what is the harm? A person who once lived in hell and again goes to hell, then where is the harm? First he went in ignorance and now in the lap of the Lord. Won't it be a fortunate hell where you go in the lap of the Lord?
On listening to these words, the Gentleman felt dazed to see her intellectualness. Even Bhai Nand Lal trembled seeing her devotion.
The lady spoke in humour but the words were fragrant with deep devotion in them.
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Bhai Nand Lal pondered on the meanings of the words that this intelligent and full of faith lady had uttered.
The lady clapped and again said: See! When he brandished a sword and asked for heads then some did come and offer but they were not put to the sword. They were given nectar and eternal happiness. In this way this is also a sword. Whosoever shall offer their heads, it will outwardly appear that they are going to hell but they will go to the Lord's palace. Don't be angry. I have not said in disrespect. Only the person who has remained thirsty in hot sands and faced death in search of water and then found it on the high palm trees knows the value of water. The boatman cannot know the value of water.
Saying this she had tears in her eyes. In the same tune again she spoke: Yes! Name anyone who has found the secret of this warrior, swordsman, Commander of army, poet, saint and prophet. Man? Alright, maybe man. He is servant of the Lord. Well! Show any servant of the Lord equivalent to him. The world sees but does not realize. We are proud that we are his devotees. But we are not able to assess his value. Brother! Come on! Assess his value. You will yourself say, "He cannot be valued." You will say, "He is above assessment of value. He is invaluable. He is priceless." If me beggar has said that he is a priceless jewel then I said it truly.
(Looking towards the sky) O Hell! If by saying that he is a priceless jewel, I have called you, then O brother, you come. You come hundred times. Earlier, I was alone. Your stings pained me. Now I am not alone. He is with me. I will keep him clamped to my heart. He shall be with me. Yes, surely. Then I will see how your stings poison me? O hell, I am not alone. Aloneness is hell! Hell stings those who are alone. I will see! When I come to you with the priceless in my heart, then whether you become heaven or I become a dweller of hell. O Hell! You will become fortunate that for my sins if my priceless jewel puts his sacred feet in you, then your ever burning fire will cool down. Come, that you get salvation. O fearful! Now I am not alone. Beware of me!
On listening to these words of the love-immersed lady that she spoke powerlessly Bhai Nand Lal's soft heart filled his eyes with tears. Others also had tears in their eyes.
Great is the priceless jewel Great is he who has recognized him Bhai Nand Lal thought deeply and then said: O Sister! You are 'SpiritualIntellectuar. The Guru's words are always true. You read the Scripture, you did service to saints but you could not meet the Lord. When the Lord bestowed
His grace, then you became a true 'Spiritual-Intellectual'. Your spirituality and intellectuaJness is superb. Great is the benevolent! He creates persons like you!
The lady did not listen to these words with attention. She was in trance. Her soul mingled with the Guru-soul.
Bhai Nand Lal saw a lustre appearing on her face and softly got ut>. He told Chander maid to tell her later that he had to go to meet Beloved Guru, so he left.
IXX
When one is dyed in the Lord's love, then one's mind is in solitude even while sitting in crowds. One is in solitude when the mind is immersed in the Lord. Magnificent Guru Gobind Singh, the image of the Lord whose mind was always immersed in the Supreme soul is sitting today in nature's solitude. The sun is setting in the west.
The clouds in the west appear as if golden canopies are spread all along. Their golden sheen is giving a golden glimmer to the eyes. The Lord lovers are feeling the presence of the Lord in their hearts and their minds are full of blossom. Benevolent are enthused. The generous are in enthusiasm on seeing the gracious sun. The misers are trembling that the sun might not become bankrupt by shelling out so much gold.
Magnificent Guru is sitting with eyes closed. Golden rays are touching his eyelids with their golden lustre. Inwardly his soul is fully immersed in the Supreme soul. He is sitting in meditation in sweet bliss dyed in the Lord's name. Nearby the river is flowing. The slanting rays appear to be dancing on the waves of water. The waves are sparkling on the bosom of the water. From the north-west from the icy mount, from across the river blew a sweet and soft breeze. A few armed soldiers stood guard at a little distance.
At this time arrived Bhai Nand Lal accompanied by a few Guru-devotees. On seeing Magnificent Guru in meditation, they sat and waited at a distance. They felt the wondrous sensation on seeing the golden clouds in the west, Bhai Nand Lal's poetic mind elevated on seeing the godly glimpse of Magnificent Guru.
The sun that was moving down under the eyelids of the sky and earth hid itself.
But the sacred eyelids of beloved Guru opened and the poet's eyelids bent down along with his companion devotees and all fell down at the beloved Guru's feet.
Magnificent Guru looked towards them and said: Sit near,
On listening to the Guru, all sat near. The conversation starved about some poetry. Then they talked about Sughar 3ai.
Bhai Nand Lal said: She seems to be immersed in the Lord's love and seems very intellectual. I went to meet her and conversed with her.
Then Bhai Nand Lal narrated all what she had talked.
Magnificent Guru laughed and said: See the whirlpools of life. Inside is confluence of knowledge, devotional love, poetry, good character and outwardly the show is different.
Nand Lal: Magnificent Guru! Is it not so courageous? This young age and this beauty! With so much wealth of hers to live a life with good character uninfluenced by numerous people to praise and seekers of her beauty and wealth, then to gain so much spiritual knowledge and be able to judge the real and unreal spiritual guides. It is wonderful.
Magnificent Guru: The Lord is the saviour.
Meanwhile Sughar Bai along with her maid Chander and servant Chokha came. She fell at the true Guru's feet. Magnificent Guru rubbed his hand on her head and with his thumb rubbed the spot of the tenth door. As if in a trance the lady felt rapture and blossom of inner mind. Then Beloved Guru lifted her head with his hand.
She sat down with respect and her lips uttered: You are all! You are all! You are great!
The true Guru recited a stanza of the Lloly Scripture that meant: Why go and search in forests The Lord is omnipresent, unseen, close to you!
After reciting the stanza, he was quiet arid he closed his eyes.
The lady listened to each word with deep attention. The Guru's words went inside her as if she was drinking nectar. She got immersed in Guru-love.
When the true Guru opened his eyes, then in graciousness in a forceful tone, he said: Sughro! You have got insight. You have got love of the Lord. You have got the sensation of the omnipresent Lord. lie pervades in the entire universe and he pervades inside you. You have got His sensation. Remain immersed in the love of the omnipresent Lord. Keep your Super consciousness tied to His feet. Do not go into forgetfulness of the Lord. Remain in His remembrance always in devotion. This is love. The practice for this is 'recitation of Name'. Name is love. When the recitation of Name becomes incessant, then insight and devotion both are present. Knowledge becomes fruitful when the sensation of the Lord always remains in the mind, heart,
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body and soul. With recitation of Name this remains automatically. Further on there are two options. One is to stay in a secluded place and concentrate the mind and keep the body in a static position. But even there the mind will wander. You shall have to stop it. You will try to stop it by being stubborn even if it is little. You shall have to move to eat and drink even if it is little. So some movement or task you shall have to do. O Sughro! I do not like this type of living. The Lord is the Creator. The world is His creation. He is all in all. He controls the creation. He looks after His creation as a saviour, father and mother although he remains unseen and unattached. Our need is that inwardly our soul should remain immersed in the Supreme soul. This shall be our detachment from the world. Outwardly we should do some work in the Lord's created world. We should do some work but with mind detached. Whatever we do, we should consider it as His command. When we do some work as a command of the Lord, then we remain detached from worldly desires.
Sughar Bai listened attentively but at this time another disciple interrupted and said: Then won't the person who has got salvation get back to the sphere of deeds?
Magnificent Guru replied: One is worldly work and another is Spiritual work. One should do Spiritual work. Our teaching is that while your soul is immersed in the Supreme soul, then do some work. Bo Spiritual work. Any work done in the forgetfulness of the Lord is of no use. Work done while the mind is immersed in the love of the Lord is fruitful. When we are immersed in the Lord Then we see humanity as Lord's children In the name of Lord we do service to humanity Service to humanity becomes our work
Sughar Bai: With your blessings, I have perceived the fragrance that is in the flower. Keeping one's self in this fragrance one should do service to humanity. This is what you suggest. But! Beloved Guru! This is the job of courageous people. When one is immersed in the Lord's love and in rapture, then one wishes solitude. Even if it is service to humanity it will disturb the mind, maybe less or maybe more. How shall the mind remain immersed in the love of the Lord that is called immersion of body soul in the Supreme soul? How shall the love-cord remain tied to the Lord's feet?
Magnificent Guru: This is the art. This is the skill. This is the courage. This is victory. O Lady! Do not have any apprehension. You have already reached a stage where your body soul is immersed in the Supreme soul. You have got inner sensation of the presence of the Lord in your mind, heart and
body. Now you perceive Him outside in nature also. Not just in the mind but in a practical way, in service to humanity. The world is in suffering, Who is so mighty to remove all suffering but w hatever much we can do, we should do. This service to humanity is religious work. Do some work that may give comfort to others, do some work that is sacred. Forgetfulness of Lord should not come again. Keep vices away. Do some work without any desire for gain, be a giver in earnestness. Keep desires away. Don't do anything that is irreligious. Do some work as devotion to the Lord, do it in the name of the Lord.
The lady listened. The true Guru's words went deep into her mind. She had already passed through several experiences in the last twelve or fifteen years. What she listened to, she had already experienced. She could understand it well. The inexperienced can only think in a superficial way. But she understood well what the
Guru emphasized.
When the Guru was quiet, then with folded hands she said: Neither the bodily pleasures remain for long nor the time gives a long rope. The pleasures of the intellectual mind, like knowledge of Vedas and other religious books are also bound in time. When the Spiritual rapture came then time feared that it has no jurisdiction any more. But the body lives in time. Time passes in moments. You have put a saddle on moments so that time may not disturb the moments of remembrance. One moment broke the cord of moments and dipped the body soul in the Supreme soul. Beloved Guru! Am I right?
The true Guru laughed and loudly said: "One moment of dip in the Supreme soul Takes you out of the cycle of births and deaths"
Lady: What you have said is that while remembering the Lord in every moment, one moment comes thait breaks the cord of moments and dips you in the Supreme soul. Even that is a moment but since it has gone above the cord of time, it becomes infinite. That moment that is infinite has given infiniteness to the present moments. Now we are living in the incessant or so to say infinite remembrance of the Lord. We are connected to the Lord. While living in this remembrance we have to put the body to some useful work. We have not to go into seclusion but do some service to humanity with detachment of mind. Saying this, the lady became quiet.
But in a thundering voice, Magnificent Guru said: "I am honoured due to these people Otherwise there are millions poor like me. "
The lady trembled, one or million? But the true Guru is always true. He speaks the truth. And my faith is true. It was his image that I saw as 'One'. How can this be one and million also?
At this time again she felt a flash in her mind. She became exuberant. She looked at Magnificent Guru's feet. Then she looked on sides. Some more disciples had gathered. Again she looked towards Beloved Guru's feet and said: Yes! My Lord! You are million, millions and millions. You are 'One5 moon in the sky. Millions of pitchers full of water are lying on earth. You are in every pitcher. Yes! I can see your image in millions. 3ut O Benevolent! You are 'OneJ in the heaven. You are only 'One'. You are in all your disciples. You are in millions. All are like you.
But 0 Magnificent-Benevolent! You are 'One\ You are 'One'
0 MagnificentBenevolent! You are 'One\
o o o o